The Wound is Where The Light Enters You

Why I love writing about friendship

Your most profound and intimate experiences of suffering will often become your most powerful sources of healing for others.

-Richard Rohr

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As a kid, my ADHD and hyperactivity made building friendships almost impossible. I was the guy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, constantly annoying and distracting others, and generally being a menace in the classroom. I spent much of my life before the age of 16 feeling really alone, dealing with self hatred and low self esteem. I just couldn’t seem to control my impulses at all.

My one place of refuge was a relationship with God.

I had a profound and transformative experience of meeting God when I was in middle school that marked the beginning of a lifelong journey of cultivating a relationship with my maker. After the worst days of bullying, getting into trouble or being sent to the principles office, I would retreat to my room and pour over my bible, confess to my journal, and find peace through conversation with God.

This is where I received my identity.

First — “beloved son”.

Then a few years later — “creative genius”.

Then a few years later — “the one who sees”.

But over and over again, throughout many seasons of my life since I first began my spiritual journey, I’ve heard God affirm the one identity that felt furthest from me growing up — “friend”.

There are many things that I am passionate about in this life now. I moved to Hawaii to pursue my love of surfing and photography. I love entrepreneurship, social media, creativity, and helping people to be themselves on the internet. I love cinematography, writing, and rich storytelling.

But the one through line that has felt the most sacred through it all is friendship.

I’ve now been a groomsman in 16 weddings. When I survey my life today, it is rich with friendship and connection that I couldn’t have even dreamed of when I was younger. Most of the success or goodness I’ve experienced in life is a direct result of a friendship that I took the time to invest in.

I know what it’s like to be on the outside. I know what it’s like to feel alone and clueless as to how to build any form of meaningful connection. I’ve felt that pain at many points throughout my time on this earth. That pain has shaped me to be the type of person that cares very much about helping people exit isolation and loneliness by becoming the incredible connecters.

That pain is the reason I started this Substack. In a world hurdling away from human connection, I want to share what I’ve picked up along the way that has helped me build my most life giving friendships.

My aim is not only to share ideas, but to actually connect. Substack is uniquely designed for genuine connection, far more than any other social media I’ve used up to this point. Substack allows the creator-consumer relationship to be truly collaborative — a two way street. That’s why I host a podcast on here, and also love featuring other amazing authors as much as I can. If you have a publication that shares some of my DNA, please reach out! I’d love to find a way we can co-create on here.

Let’s carry the torch of intimacy in relationships into this next generation together.

I love you all! Thanks so much for reading.