Destroy Your Enemies

Friendship Friday

Hey everyone! Happy Friday, thanks for being here! Friendship Friday is my way of sharing favorite resources, ideas, and stories about friendship each week. It’s quick, light, and low-commitment (for both you and me 😂). My aim is to make these as a quick infusion of friendship inspo for you on your way into the weekend.

I actually skipped writing last week since I was in California with my in laws getting some much needed rest and quality time with family (pictured below), but SO stoked to be back in it this week!

First, I want to start us off with an Abe Lincoln quote that’s been on my mind frequently the past few weeks:

1. On Destroying Your Enemy

The story goes, that at the height of the Civil War, Lincoln was getting called out by an elderly woman for treating a political/ war opponent with too much respect. In response for being reprimanded for not condemning his opponent as an irreconcilable enemy, and seeking their destruction, Lincoln asked

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friend?”

I’ve made a few social media posts in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assasination, sharing my grief and concern for our country, and have been thoroughly criticized by both right and left leaning people for “not being hard enough” on the side of the controversy to which they are opposed.

I totally agree that we should be ruthless in our pursuit to make justice and truth endure through trying times like these, but I refuse to dehumanize people who disagree with my viewpoints to the level that has become rampant on social media.

This quote from Lincoln perfectly summarizes my aim in the midst of the troubling times we are in. More than ever, our friendships with people who think differently than us are a priceless resource that we need to hold tightly to.

Ok I’ll be a bit less long winded on these next 4 I promise.

2. Phone Fasting

I’m currently on day 4 of 5 of a “phone fast”.

For me, a phone fast just means powering off my phone, and leaving it in the junk drawer in my kitchen for a day or a few days.

Every time I do one of these, I am absolutely shocked to realize how much improvement I have in my mental health, focus, and quality of work.

I feel like Théoden, king of Rohan in Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf exorcises Saruman from his grip over him. I remember my strength, my honor, my mission. It’s insane how much our phones are taking from us without our noticing.

If doing 5 days in a row sounds like too much to you, try an “intermittent phone fast” restricting your phone time to a 6-8 hour window, or just take a Sunday to go phoneless. I literally can’t overhype this enough. It’s become a staple in my life.

3. Fortnite

I kid you not, through the winter months, this is how my friends and I stay up to date on each other’s lives. I live far away from many of them, but this digital space gives us the perfect opportunity to continue having a shared experience.

Video games can be a debilitating addiction that keeps us from building real life friendships, and I acknowledge that, but with a bit of intentionality and moderation, it can be such a lifegiving opportunity to connect with people we love.

If you’re a fellow gamer, shoot me a DM with your gamer tag and let’s rip some dubs.

4. James Talerico

This dude is a legend. I don’t know if there’s ever been a modern politician I’ve resonated with as much as James. He’s a former elementary school teacher from one of the poorest districts in Texas, and has an amazing passion for uniting alienated political groups.

He’s a Christian with a view of faith that I really respect, and also is pretty active here on Substack. I highly recommend checking out his interview on Joe Rogan, he has some really cool viewpoints and stories to share.

I guess it’s just refreshing to hear someone with a fairly balanced perspective and a real connection to the pain of the lower class in the US who is growing a platform focused on unity.

5. Soul Care

I don’t talk about my mom’s organization Soul Care enough on here!

Soul Care is an initiative my mom Mindy Caliguire started shortly after I was born in response to a serious bout of burnout in her life.

They provide resources for churches, non-profits, businesses, and individuals to address health and vitality at the soul level. They are passionate about reducing burnout, and sharing spiritual practices to help people cultivate a rich, connected inner life.

I’ve been on their team since 2022, helping with marketing and product development.

If you or a team you oversee are struggling with burnout or could use some help implementing spiritual practices like sabbatical, spiritual direction, retreats, etc, you should check them out. They’re also doing a live online workshop later today in response to the shitstorm (excuse my French) of violence, division, and anger that is ravaging our country right now.

It’s at 12:00pm MST and completely free. I’ll be joining as well, and we’d love to have you!

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Thanks so much for reading! Every like, comment, and DM I receive in response to these means the absolute world to me, so don’t be shy!

I’d love to hear what stuck out to you or how these things relate to your life and story. Say hi!

Love you all!

Jon

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