Call Your Friends

Deeper friendship is on the other side of a single phone call.

Tell your friends how you feel about them.

I promise you — most of your friends have little to no understanding of what you mean to them.

Think about it for a second:

How many of your close friends consistently articulate to you what you mean to them?

I’d be willing to bet it’s a very low number if any.

Very few people actually do this because it’s vulnerable.

It often feels disruptive to the surface level conversations many friendships get stuck in. It’s also easy to compromise on this and settle for safer alternatives like showing just generally showing excitement when you see them, or complimenting them on their cool new pants.

But think about what it would mean to you to have a friend that consistently tells you they are grateful for you, and how you’ve positively impacted their life.

Not in a love bombing, manipulative way, but in a humble, insightful and confident way.

I’ll tell you this — the first time you do this is the hardest.

But once you’ve set a precedent for this type of communication in any relationship, you’ve broken the ice. You’ll find it easier and easier each time, and you’d be surprised how quickly it can become a reciprocal culture in a friend group or individual relationship.

If calling someone or doing this in person with a friend feels uncomfortable, I highly recommend the voice memos feature on your phone. It’s casual, yet personal and doesn’t put your friend in the position of feeling like they need to immediately respond with some sort of reciprocal communication. Plus they can save it for a rainy day and remind themselves that someone loves them when they need to hear it most.

Many people wait so long through their lives to be chosen by someone, invited into a deeper level of friendship. I’m just as guilty of this as the next person. But what we fail to realize is that the ball has always been in our court to choose people first.